Merlin, adapted
by prouvaires
Summary: Each episode of Season 2 in 100 words, or thereabouts.
1. The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

**Disclaimer: **Merlin's not mine.

**A/N: **Bored. And high on caffeine. I thought I'd melt Merlin series 2 down into a manageable size. Turns out it's not that hard to get a forty-five minute episode into roughly 100 words.

Speech, /actions/, *emotions*. The 3! is supposed to be a little heart … but the formatting ate it. Oh, and Sparky is otherwise known as the Great Slash Dragon, in case you're interested. I'm too lazy to type out the acronym.

Hope you enjoy the first episode!

--

_The Curse of Cornelius Sigan_

Miners: /mine/

Wall: /crumble/

Miners: Ooh shiny!

Arrow: /whoosh/

Man: /ded/

Miners: Oh noes!

Uther: Mine! All mine!

Gaius: It's an epic ded sorcerer!

Merlin: No wai!

Gaius: Wai!

Gaius: Ded man why?

Arrow: /whoosh/

Merlin: /magic/

Gaius: Phew …

Cedric: /appears/

Arthur: /falls off horse/

Merlin: Ha fail.

Cedric: /flatters/

Arthur: 3!

Merlin: *jealous*

Cedric: /sneaks into cave/ Ooh shiny!

Merlin: Ohshit.

Gargoyles: /alive/

People: Oh noes!

Arthur: /fights/

Merlin: Halp!

Sparky: You fail at grudges. /gives uber-spell/

Merlin+Cedric: /epic magic battle/

Merlin: I win! Yaaay!

--


	2. The Once and Future Queen

**A/N: **I'm dedicating this one to Jucyloo2002, my only reviewer so far ;) Glad you enjoyed it. This may be slightly inaccurate, I can't remember the exact order of things and I'm too lazy to find the DVD to re-watch this episode!

Speech, /actions/, *emotions*. The 3! is supposed to be a little heart … but the formatting ate it.

--

_The Once and Future Queen_

Arthur: /pout/  
Arthur: I want to fight like a real man! I am Arthur, god of jousting, and you _will _fight me properly.  
Knights: /feet-shuffle/  
Arthur: /plots/

Gaius: Clean the leeches!  
Merlin: Whatever.

Arthur: *condescending*  
Gwen: /glare/  
William: *confused*  
Arthur: /epic jousting skillz/

Myror: Die, prince, die!

Gaius: The leeches, Merlin!

Arthur: *arrogant*  
Gwen: /rant/  
Arthur: Dinner?  
Gwen: 3!  
Myror: /has mini-crossbow/  
Arthur+Gwen: /eat dinner/  
Myror: /chased by guards/  
Gwen: You cheat!  
Arthur: /blush/

Merlin: Morning!  
Gaius: The leeches!  
Merlin: /rant/  
Gaius: O.o

Gwen+Arthur: /awkward sappy moment/  
Gwen: 3!  
Arthur: 3!  
Gwen+Arthur: /kiss/  
Arthur: /flees/

Myror: Hahaha. Your doom awaits.  
Arthur: I pwn all.  
Myror: BAM!  
Arthur: Owww. /stabbed/  
Gwen+Merlin: Oh noes!  
Arthur: /brave/  
Myror: Muahaha.  
Arthur: /pwns/  
Myror: /ded/

Arthur: Random farmer can have glory.  
William: 3!  
Gwen+Arthur: 3!

Gaius: ….okay, you don't really have to do the leeches.  
Merlin: 3!

--

**A/N: **Please no favouriting without reviewing, thanks.


	3. The Nightmare Begins

**A/N: **I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it so far! I'm really enjoying writing it too, so I'll be updating quickly.

Speech, /actions/, *emotions*. The 3! is supposed to be a little heart … but the formatting ate it.

--

_The Nightmare Begins_

Morgana: /dream/  
Gaius: It's not magic.  
Morgana: /magic/  
Uther: *intense*  
Merlin: S'not magic.  
Morgana: *disbelieving*  
Sparky: /mysterious and unhelpful/  
Merlin: Go find the druids!  
Scorpion: /sting/  
Morgana: Owww!  
Druid: /heals/  
Uther: Oh noes, she's been kidnapped!  
Arthur: Knights, let's go!  
Merlin: Ohshit.  
Morgana: /questions/  
Druid: You're magical.  
Morgana: 3!  
Mordred: 3!  
Merlin: You gotta come home!  
Arthur: /attacks/  
Druid: Run!  
Knight: /shoots/  
Druid: /ded/  
Mordred: /scream/  
Morgana: /facepalm/  
Merlin: Oops.  
Uther: You're back! 3!  
Morgana: *hate*

--


	4. Lancelot and Guinevere

Speech, /actions/, *emotions*. The 3! is supposed to be a little heart … but the formatting ate it.

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_Lancelot and Guinevere:_

Morgana: /epic sword skillz/  
Gwen: /kidnapped/  
Arthur: Oh noes!  
Morgana: You coward! /insults manliness/  
Arthur: I'm going to save her!  
Morgana: 3!  
Gwen: /is prisoner/  
Lancelot: OMGZ! Gwen?  
Gwen: 3!  
Arthur: /admits feelings/  
Merlin: /snigger/  
Arthur: Let's take the short cut!  
Merlin: No thanks, I choose life.  
Arthur: /smooshes berries/  
Wilderin: /sniff/  
Merlin: Ohshit.  
Arthur: O.o It worked!  
Merlin: /glare/  
Lancelot: I'm gonna free you!  
Gwen: 3!  
Lancelot: /captured/  
Gwen: /captured/  
Arthur+Merlin: /ninjaresque sneaking skillz/  
Lancelot: I love you.  
Gwen: I love you too.  
Lancelot: 3!  
Gwen: 3!  
Arthur: BAM!  
Merlin: /magic/  
Gwen: O.O  
Lancelot: O.O  
Arthur: Run!  
Hengrist: /ded/  
Lancelot+Gwen: /intense moment/  
Arthur: *jealous*  
Lancelot: /run away/  
Gwen: Oh noes!  
Arthur: Guess who's back?  
Morgana: 3!


	5. Beauty And The Beast

**A/N: **I've got both episodes together here, because they're really too short to go separately.

Speech, /actions/, *emotions*. The 3! is supposed to be a little heart (you know, with the whole "less than three" thing) … but the formatting ate it.

And to my lovely [not] anonymous reviewer, HR, who is either too lazy or too gutless to log in: yes, I really am an ignorant, illiterate gutter rat who is both grammatically and lexically incompetent.

Oh, wait. I've published **one hundred **other stories … and they all have flawless spelling. Right. So now you just look a bit stupid, don't you?

--

_Beauty and the Beast_

Catrina: /smelly/

Jonas: /brews potion/

Merlin: Wow you're purty.

Catrina: I want Uther.

Uther: /jawdrop/

Arthur: Ew, dad flirting. /shudder/

Morgana: /smirk/

Uther: 3!

Merlin: /suspicious/

Catrina: He'll never stop me! /cackle/

Uther: I love her.

Arthur: wtf?

Merlin: She's a troll!

Gaius: Uther, she's a troll!

Uther: LIES!

Catrina: /smug/

Uther: 3!

Catrina+Uther: /married/

Merlin: Ohshit.

Merlin: /magic/

Catrina: /is a troll/

Everyone: OMGZ! She's a troll!

Uther: LIES!

Catrina: I want to be queen.

Uther: Arthur, you're fired.

Arthur: *depressed*

Catrina: /crowned/

Merlin: /magic/

Uther: OMGZ! She's a troll!

Everyone: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Catrina: Oh noes! /ded/

Arthur: /smug/

Uther: Arthur, you're hired again.

Morgana: LOL.

Merlin: Phew.

--


End file.
